My trip to DC was a blast. I couldn’t begin to tell you how excited I was to be there again.
No…not the movie with James Franco and Seth Rogan that got cancelled because North Korea secretly runs North American Cinema. My interview with the FAA went as well as I could have imagined or planned. The interview was very conversational and relaxed which allowed me to be more like myself and less robotic in my answers. The nodding and affirmations each person gave me during the interview helped tremendously.
I’d like to put this disclaimer out there now: If I don’t get this job I fully believe it will be because the North Koreans.
One of the guys who interviewed me, called me back a few hours later to ask me about being interested in another position, if this one doesn’t pan out. I was shocked! You mean to tell me, not one but two possible jobs? Yes please! My first instinct was “He’s calling to tell you, you got the job!” …two seconds later my second instinct was “He’s calling to tell you, you didn’t get the job because we saw the run in the back of your stockings and the tattoos you were trying to hide…unsuccessfully.”(My tattoos have now become a source of anxiety during job interviews…my mother and best friend will be telling me “I told you so”….any minute now) Before the man even got 2 words out of his mouth, I had already dreamed up 4 different scenarios of what he was going to tell me.
That’s some mighty fine anxiety you got there, ma’am!
So…speaking of anxiety, I am not an anxious flyer. In fact, I enjoy flying…if all my basic human functions are being met. (This, by the way, was theme of my trip to DC. More on this in a minute) Meaning, I can sit in a seat with my back against the chair, have some kind of air blowing on me and possibly a cup of water. That is really all I need to have a good flight. My flight home from Dallas (layover) to OKC did NOT meet the basic human needs for me. Please see below to find out why:
There’s always a preface when I’m about to be mean. I want to begin by saying I’m a big girl. And I know all too well what it is like to fly while being big. I do not condone fat-shaming and it is not okay. Preface complete.
I fat-shamed the guy next to me for 40 minutes on the plane ride home. He took up 1/3 of my seat, all of his seat and 1/3 of the girl’s, on the other side of him, seat. Of course he sat in the middle.Of course he tried to put his arm on top of mine….IT DIDN’T HAPPEN! I WILL ALWAYS WIN ARM WAR! I was so irritated after the short 40 minute flight, I ran….RAN… through the airport so I could get out of there! I don’t want to say the solution is big people need to buy two seats. I mean …it seems like the best possible solution but it also sounds horrible.
When I fly, being a big person, I sit very still, I sleep with headphones on, I don’t ask for something to drink (unless it’s a long flight), I don’t ask for those dehydrating peanuts and pretzels. I just sit! I don’t talk to people, I don’t get up a 100 times to use the bathroom. I don’t take up more room than I should. I don’t close the windows so no one can see out. I just think flying really brings out the worst in people. Mostly myself because I can’t handle people who need all this shit for a 40 minute flight. SIT STILL, LOOK FORWARD and DON’T TALK. It’s only 40 minutes. Read SkyMall, play Candy Crush, just don’t move.
BASIC HUMAN FUNCTIONS:
So…you know when you are on vacation or a trip to a big city and you walk more than you ever thought you possibly could? Take that times 23 and that is how far my best friend and I walked in DC this week. We didn’t really know where anything was, so we’d guess, get off at a stop and hope Google’s failed attempt at a mapping system would help us out. So that meant a lot of walking. Which also meant, there wasn’t always a bathroom, food or shelter immediate for us. If I wasn’t freezing to death (see previous post where my dumb ass forgot my winter coat) I was dehydrated. If I wasn’t dehydrated, my legs hurt (undoubtedly from being dehydrated) or I was hungry. I’m so damn needy.
My best friend completely sympathized with me and often felt the same needs as I …so I didn’t feel so bad. He’s just way better at hiding it than me. Funny thing though, when you walk the National Mall (it is not a shopping mall, by the way) You will see a TON of people running. In winter in DC. When it is 21 degrees outside. Running. I didn’t get it but to each their own.
FUN LITTLE TIDBIT:
When we got to the White House, they were clearing the sidewalks and making us get a way from it. My best friend was convinced the POTUS was coming back into town from being abroad. I think it was just a stray dog or something. Here’s the pic from that:
We were making those ironic “look we are at the White House” faces, never turns out they way you’d like them to.
Lastly, when I was coming back home… I didn’t have that familiar feeling I usually have after being gone to another place and then coming home. I felt like I had left the place I was supposed to be! I love DC and I think I’m ready to call it home for a while. I’ll keep you posted!